Disclaimer: These jokes are not meant to offend anybody. They are here to make people laugh, so don't take them personally! Those of you out there who ARE taking them personally, then lighten up... they're just jokes.

What's the difference between a fiddle and a Chain Saw?
You can turn a chain saw off.

Why did the fiddler cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.

What's the difference between a fiddler playing in "D" and a locksmith?
A locksmith knows how to change keys, and can get paid for it !

How can you tell the difference between a bunch of grapes and fiddle seisiun?
Jump up & down on one and you get wine, on the other you get whines

What's the best thing to play on a fiddle?
A flame-thrower.

Why are fiddles better than guitars?
They burn longer.

What's the difference between a fiddle and a Harley Davidson Motorcycle?
You can tune a Harley.

What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A fiddle is fun to listen to.

What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin?
No-one minds if you spill beer on a fiddle.

Why should you never try to drive a roof nail with a fiddle?
You might bend the nail.

How do you tell the difference between a fiddle player and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.

How many fiddle players does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can't get up that high!

Fiddle players' motto: "It's better to be sharp than out of tune."

A fiddle player says to his wife, "Oh, baby, I can play you just like my fiddle."
His wife replies, "I'd rather have you play me like a harmonica!"

Why is a fiddle player like a SCUD missile?
Both are offensive and inaccurate.

"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.
"You have, Your Honour," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son fiddle lessons last winter."
"Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"